The Adventures of Dating - A Girls Quest for Love

Rich…

So there was once this kid named Rich… funny how the Rich’s of the world I’ve been on dates with have all ended up being super creepers (I literally just remembered this one guy in college — don’t like to think much about that time in my life, ha!)

This one messaged me one night, and I replied quickly saying I did not have much time to talk because it was late.. his pictures seemed alright, he looked seemingly cute, but then again so do a lot of people in pictures. He was quick to give me his number and I replied with mine, simply because I didn’t have time to deal with frequent messaging and I wasn’t thinking obviously. Well we would text nonstop for a few days; he complimented me and was kind of fun to talk to. He lived near me and apparently went to the same gym (thank god I’ve never seen him there). He asked me on a date and of course I was doing nothing else so I said sure, why not… he said he wanted to surprise me and asked if he could pick me up… sorry but if I met you online and am meeting you for the first time you better believe I am not going to let you drive me on a surprise date, dude could be taking me to kill me for all I knew! I agreed to follow directions to the said restaurant and would meet him there. Instantly I saw the little inn deep in the woods and I was thinking this was going to be awkward. He showed up at my car window knocking with a big smile — he looked nothing like his picture. Cleanly shaven, hair slicked back, what he thought were nice dress slacks and a button up …. he looked like he was 40. My heart sank and literally I wish I could’ve gone home right then and there. (and I even feel bad saying all this because truly he is a sweet guy and he deserves a sweet girl, but sadly it’s not going to be me). 

We went in to the inn, where apparently he used to work and knew every single person (OLD person) in the joint. We would be seated at a nice dimly candle lit table in a room with maybe one other table of people and a menu where I could barely find anything I found appetizing (I’m a cheeseburger and fries kinda girl, so don’t try showing off with fancy menu choices). I felt awkward — we were there for like three hours, we talked and I tried hard to come up with good conversation and I was nice, but I cannot tell you how happy I was when he suggested we get out of there because it was already midnight by this point. The nice bartender said goodbye to us and told me how happy he was to meet me and hoped I’d come back with Rich sometime soon (pretty sure he thought I was his gf, ahh). We walked to my car in the dark parking lot and I was just praying that he didn’t try to kiss me. The last thing I wanted was a goodnight kiss and I could see him trying to go in for one, and I’ve done the awkward dodge before and I really hate to have to pull it out but I will. Thankfully it was a hug and a nice thank you and we parted ways — to which I would get a text later proclaiming a huge liking for me and a huge connection between us and hopes that we could go out again soon. 

I will say he was very sweet, but just not for me. I felt bad because for weeks and months after that he would text me just to say hello, would tell me he missed me and try to get me to go out again. I came up with every excuse in the book, until finally one day I just said “I hate to have to say this but my ex and I are talking again and I have some mixed feelings that I do not wish to drag you into.” Complete liar I am! I should have just tell him how I felt but I couldn’t bear to break the kids little heart. He asked me if I ever saw something between us because he did - apparently he saw big things for us being together. Again, I was not interested. He was the kind of kid who would just plain annoy the crap out of you with stupid texts and compliments (yes compliments can get annoying) and then apologize at the drop of the hat for no reason at all. I couldn’t stand it! I almost thought of pretending I changed my number just to get rid of him. He said he understood my thing with my ex and wished me well and said we should be friends. I said sure why not, and to this day he still texts me out of the blue to talk and say we should hang out. I think he is secretly hoping I am single and can make his move in, but sorry Richard, this girl is just a little too much for you to handle and she wants someone who’s going to put her in her place, figuratively. 

He remains slightly creepy in my eyes and I feel bad for him, but he made me realize something I do not want out of a guy - I don’t want someone who’s going to apologize to me for no reason and do anything to get me to like them. I want someone who’s going to fight with me to be right, someone who makes me laugh, and someone who is unbelievably interesting I just have to know everything and anything about them.. someone who really gets me. I think that if I ever dated this kid I would find myself purposely picking fights just to see how far I could push him, see how much he would apologize before he would crack. So is the end of Rich. 

it’s amazing how quiet and peaceful it is when it snows… there’s something so serene about a snowfall, especially at night. it’s almost as if the entire world just stops, perfectly still and beautiful. sometimes i just stand there and stare into the magnificent whiteness, and i think for once life is how it should be. peaceful. i wish this could be everyday. 

So I can’t remember if this is going quite in sequence anymore, but I did go on a date with a guy named Mike, from Conshohocken. Let’s see… I messaged him first because I thought he was really attractive and had a really interesting and intellectual profile. (I like when people actually put some effort into their profile — gives a girl something to go off of). He seemed really cool, although we didn’t speak a whole lot, but decided to meet up for drinks one night after work. We met at Landmark in West Chester; he got up and hugged me when we met (kind of liked that) and we sat down. At first it was slightly awkward but a drink or two and we had some good conversation about work, life, past relationships, etc. I’d say it went well. He texted me after saying he had a good time and that I was really cute, ha. We would text on and off here and there and would meet up one more time for drinks, which I thought went well, but I guess not because we didn’t speak much or see each other again after that. I guess I really didn’t care or I would have tried harder to talk to him after that, but I figure at this point if someone else doesn’t want to put in effort that it’s just not worth my time. Either way I just added that to my list of experiences and interesting people I met that summer. I have no ill will towards the guy and I hope he is doing well… 

Chris, the first Chris. 

Ok so I deleted POF between Jeff and this kid, but actually Chris was the very first person I talked to on this dating adventure. He seemed alright, cute enough (I hate when the pictures are always better than the actual person, ha!), nice, kinda funny… 

After the first fiasco I decided why not give this kid a shot, so I accepted the date. We decided to meet for dinner and so I went… I have to say this date was almost painful. OK, no it was VERY painful. Now I am a shy girl, but I can hold a conversation and when in need I pretend I am the most outgoing person ever and go with it (it actually works), except this kid had nothing to say. I assume he was nervous, but really he could have at least thought of something to say! I asked every question I could think of, told every random story in the book, talked about my life in entirety and gave him every opportunity to give me something to work with, but alas nothing. I felt bad for the kid so I decided to give him a second chance and suggested we go out for drinks afterward (alcohol is good for loosening even the stiffest people up). 

We went to a local watering hole where I would proceed to see everyone I went to high school with and more! Chris and I sat down and ordered a beer, then another, then another, then another, and maybe one more. I thought a few beers would either make him more apt to have a discussion or at least make him seem better in my eyes; neither happened. I was painfully sipping my beer looking for any and every opportunity to talk about something. Thankfully (though randomly) I noticed my best guy friend and several other good friends walking into the bar, so I quickly texted my friend Brian to have him come outside and find us! Thank the lord, saviors… We gained a table of about 10, and though I felt really bad for sabotaging our date it gave us someone to talk to. Granted I have a friend Alex who loves to talk to people. He sat next to Chris and tried to make conversation seeing I was desperate. He asked him about his interests, hobbies, work, friends, family, general life and once again the only answer out of Chris’ mouth was: “yeah.. I guess.. I dunno.. maybe…” SERIOUSLY?! You know when Alex gives up and decides to descend to a lesser part of the table that there must be something wrong with this person. I couldn’t believe he couldn’t even come up with a thing to say! At that point I did the cliche yawn, said I was tired and suggested maybe we head out. After a polite thank you and awkward hug, I left and that was the end of him. 

I felt bad he texted me a few times afterwards, but I just could not get into him. Like I said I am shy, but I do not want someone who is worse than I am. I want someone to bring out my fun, bubbly self, not make me not want to speak at all. It was horrible, and sorry to say he wasn’t even that cute in person. Bleh! 

But I wouldn’t give up here. I decided my new motto was “onto the next!” I can’t win them all but I mind as well get some free dinners out of this! ha